Child, Adolescent & Parent Committee
Every year, the Child, Adolescent & Parent Committee organizes an Invited Panel at the Annual IARPP Conference.
We are delighted to share reflections on the Invited Panel, “The Unwelcome Child in the Consulting Room: Ferenczi, Adolescence, and the Experience of Hate in the Clinical and Social Surround,” presented at the 22nd IARPP Conference in Toronto, Can Hate Last? Reclaiming Clinical Sensibilities in Relational Psychoanalysis.
Drawing on Ferenczi’s reflections on the unwelcome child, the panel explored how experiences of exclusion, conditional belonging, and hate become embedded in the developing self and are reactivated in contemporary clinical and sociopolitical contexts. Through two clinical cases involving adolescents, the presenters examined how relational psychoanalysis can create spaces in which the trauma of not being accepted or recognized may be metabolized and transformed.
Heather Ferguson (USA) presented the paper, “Am I Lovable? Conditional Belonging and Sociopolitical Unwelcomeness,” in which she described the moving treatment of Zain, a fifteen-year-old Arab American adolescent struggling with an eating disorder, the emergence of his sexual identity, and a profound sense of being unacceptable. Heather illustrated how experiences of conditional love within the family – particularly in relation to Zain’s father – intersected with broader sociopolitical realities, including racism, anti-Arab prejudice, and homophobia, shaping his developing sense of self. Through a deeply relational approach, Heather illustrated how analytic elasticity – including the offering and sharing of snacks in the consulting room – together with thoughtful exploration of differences between analyst and patient, such as racial background and sexual orientation, within the intersubjective field, helped build an authentic analytic relationship. Alongside Heather’s parallel work with Zain’s parents, which promoted greater attunement to their son, the analytic process enabled Zain to express himself with increasing creativity and freedom.
In her paper, “The Stranglehold of Being an Unwelcome Child,” Susan Klebanoff (USA) presented the fifteen-year treatment of Arina, an adolescent whose sense of being unwelcome was rooted in her position as a replacement child within a chaotic, boundary-less family system. Drawing again on Ferenczi’s concept of the “unwelcome child” alongside Anzieu’s notion of the skin ego, Susan demonstrated how early relational instability, marked by intrusive family boundaries, a disabled older sibling who dominated the household, and a family friend who came to occupy Arina’s place shaped her sense of self, manifested as somatic distress, disordered eating, and a persistent pattern of anticipatory rejection. Through sustained clinical attunement, including the evolving use of online sessions during a lengthy period of physical and emotional distance, Susan illustrated how repeated rupture and repair within the analytic relationship, alongside her reflections on countertransference, fostered a safe and authentic bond. She navigated Arina’s family dynamics across adolescence and young adulthood, supporting her separation. Through this extended analytic process, Arina gradually became able to trust in her own worth, with increasing confidence and diminished fear.
Throughout the panel, the lively and thoughtful dialogue with participants, facilitated by Fabia Eleonora Banella (Italy) as interlocutor, generated further reflections on the challenges psychoanalysts face when working with adolescents and their families in contemporary society.
Sara Biondi (Italy) & Rodolfo Pérez Sánchez (Spain)
Members of the Child, Adolescent & Parent Committee
Sara Biondi, Psy.D.
Rome, Italy
Email Sara Biondi
Rodolfo Pérez Sánchez, M.S.
Valencia, Spain
Email Rodolfo Pérez Sánchez
Toronto Conference Reflections:
The Capacity to Hate – Après Coup – Rina Lazar
Candidates Committee – Ashleigh Ide
The Willingness to Remain in Relationship – Alice Sommatis
Child, Adolescent & Parent Committee – Sara Biondi & Rodolfo Pérez Sánchez
Stirrings – Jamie McMillan